Higher Thoughts

                Brief testimony of my Life

I was born in Chihuahua, Mexico on July 13, 1965. I am the oldest of seven siblings. I have 11 half sisters and brothers older then I, from both my parents first marriage. Both their first spouses passed away and left each of them some children. My dad had 7 children 12 and younger, my mom had 4. So, this made an interesting combined family.

    The home I came from was not always a happy one. God was not the head in the home and with three families combined it was a real challenge. We did have good times too.

    My family attended the Old Colony Mennonite Church, very traditional church! The church taught you could not know if you were saved and many other things, most homes were not happy homes because they lacked a personal relationship with Jesus.

   I thank God that my Father did not drink or live in wickedness, he was a family man the best he knew how. He provided the personal needs for the family but lacked spiritual leadership. We saw him read his Bible often and I believe he had a prayer life as well and he was an active member in the church. He did teach us to pray which is probably why I'm where I am today.

   At a young age I wanted to be good and I remember praying in the morning that God would help me be good but it was very hard to actually live it with a houseful of selfish self-centered unrestrained siblings, so there was a lot of fighting going on and parents taking sides among their children. Without guidance and godly example to follow this kind of life created bitterness and anger in hearts.

   We were a hard working family. Everyone had to pitch in to help make a living, so we did a lot of field jobs where almost the whole family could work together, hoeing cotton fields and picking produce. In all of that I have good happy memories. Working together like that we never had a boring moment, it could get quite interesting sometimes.

   I met my husband in Canada years before I actually married him, because he hung around a lot with my brothers. So when he asked me to start dating (which is what we did back than) I kind of knew through my brothers. We got married September 18, 1983 in the Old Colony setting and basically lived like we grew up. But thankfully God had other plans. So we started on a journey searching for real life, which we felt the need to look for something other then what we grew up with after we had several children and we wanted to send them to school. Although at the time we had no idea what we were looking for. God in His mercy closed a door and opened another. So we moved to east Texas. Here Jacob attended a Christian school by the Kleingemeinde church that we attended there as well. Here for the first time in my life I heard the gospel preached. This really wetted our appetite and we started searching the scriptures. Our children were memorizing scripture in school so I helped them and learned along with them, we were so thrilled.

   Eventually through our own searching the scripture and thirsting to know God, He opened another door and so we moved to Oklahoma to a stable Kleingemeinde Church. After six months we became commited members. We were very involved in the church and the church helped us grow in our walk of life. Trying to fit in with the church was a real challenge but we enjoyed the hard working people there and learned alot of things. By this time we had 5 children and the 12 years we lived there God added 3 more children to our family. Our oldest four were born again believers and active members in the church.

   About this time we heard and met some people through my oldest half sister and her family from Ephrata PA Charity fellowship. My husband attended leadership seminar in 2002. From there God took us on an even higher journey. At this point I really started doubting if I had ever been truly born again. I started on a serious search for assurance of salvation. I achingly longed for peace in my soul and a personal relationship with the Lord. For years I tried to be a Christian in my own strength and miserably failed. One night among many sleepless nights I was so burdened that I begged God to give me peace in my soul, I prayed and confessed all and all of a sudden it was like a hand touching my shoulder and saying "You are born again!" Such peace and joy surged my heart! I put my stake down good and deep and let the devil know he could not harrass me anymore, I was now a child of my God.

   During this time we tentatively started attending a small fellowship in Perkins, an hour from Boley where we lived. I got rebaptized along with my son Abe, Joseph and my then future daughter in law. This was a very memorable day of rejoicing. We sang a song that was so fitting.

All my life long I had panted 

for a draught from some col spring

That I hoped would quench the burning

Of the thirst I felt within.

Hallelujah! I have found Him

whom my soul so long has craved!

Jesus satisfies my longing;

Thro' His blood I now am free.

Feeding on the husks around me

Till my strength was almost gone,

Long my soul for something better,

Only still to hunger on.

Poor I was and sought for riches,

Something that would satisfy.

But the dust I gathered round me

Only mocked my soul's sad cry.

Well of water, ever springing.

Bread of life so rich and free,

Untold love that never faileth.

My redeemer is to me. 

                 Amen!!

I found Him whom my soul loveth.

                 Song of Sol.3:4

I wish I could say that from here my christian life was one blissful story. But I still have a lot of things to learn, I'm still a student in God's school. Jesus is my longsuffering teacher. He uses many people in this world to teach me to walk the straight and narrow path. To obey Him and love Him. I have stumbled and messed up His divine plan many many times. He picks me up and puts me back under testing. Some things I can say I have overcome and have victory and in other things I'm still learning. His grace is sufficient and His mercy is great!! If He asked if I still would follow Him, YES! Where else would I go? Thou hast the bread of life!! He has become my salvation, Praise the Lord! Who can separate me from this great love,of whom shall I be afraid. He is my Rock and my Fortress, a very strong help in time of trouble. I will take up my cross and follow my Jesus! So help me Lord!